John Dehlin

This entry is the 11th and final in a series that begins here. For the full effect, click on “Continue Reading” below, find the music player, and play the song while reading the lyrics.

Story Background: In this scene, Glinda and Elphaba, whose friendship has been severely tested, find a way to see beyond their issues, feel their mutual love, and come to appreciate the role that each has played in the other’s spiritual development.

Parallels to My Story: I think this song speaks for itself, but I will say a few, short things:

• Anger clearly has its place in the disaffected Mormon’s journey, but only as a temporary place, I believe, and only in proper proportion. We disaffected Mormons are not the only people in the world to have been disappointed–by faith, by family, by work and by country. I’m realizing more and more each day that learning to deal constructively with deep disappointment is not a Mormon thing — it is a human thing. And we all must work very, very hard get over our anger and disappointment as quickly as we can–or life will pass us by.
• So many of the disaffected LDS folks I’ve met develop deep contempt for both the church, and its remaining members. Most of these friends also would openly acknowledge 2 things: 1) that they were once TBMs just like the rest, and 2) that they benefited TREMENDOUSLY from their LDS affiliation in both childhood and early adulthood. In my mind, our feelings towards the church should be ambivalent at worst. Most of us disaffected should feel some sorrow, but also some seriously deep gratitude for the positive role the church has played in our lives.
• Finally, a wise person once said, “What doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger.” I know that I have been changed “for the better” (as the song says) by my affiliation with Mormonism–and the trick for all of us, I believe, is to develop a zen-like, balanced perspective on the church, and the role that it both has played, and will play in our lives.

I hereby challenge all of my DAMU friends to work very hard to get to the place emotionally that this song conveys: a place of understanding, peace, and even love for the role the LDS church has played (and likely will continue to play–at some level) in our lives. It will be hard, to be sure, but it may be one of the most important things we ever do.

I must end by saying that in a very deep and meaningful way (for me), I have been changed for the better by all of you…my Internet Mormon friends. Thanks for letting me be a small part of your world (all 3 of you who made it this far)–and thanks for being such an important part of mine. I love you all.

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